Okay. This is a little naughty, and has nothing to do with ParentKillers. Consider it a little geste as I'm so far behind schedule...
The Princess and the Pirate
Princess Leonore, blue dress and all, felt herself politely pushed forward towards the rear of the ship, where an open door waited for her. She hesitated, fearing what would hide in the darkness behind that door. This was a pirate ship, after all, and that door would lead to what she assumed would be the captain’s quarters. The pirate captain’s quarters. It was one thing to dream about being ravaged by a handsome pirate, yet something else to live the experience.
She swallowed and struggled, if only a little, before asking, “What’s his name?”
"His name is Cap'n Violet," the Bosun said. She was big and ugly. Leonore wasn’t entirely sure if the Bosun was a man or a woman. Or had been, once. The bosun’s leather skirt and bra contained a sufficient amount of flesh to indicate either gender, but Leonore had settled on female, based on bosun’s voice.
It took her a moment to recognize the name, and she gasped. "Violent Bluebeard?"
The Bosun shrugged. "It's Cap'n Violet Bluebird, as in Violent without the 'n' innit, and 'bird' as in, well, bird, not beard. But it's a common mistake."
The princess looked at the bosun, puzzled. "So, he isn't Violent Bluebeard?"
"Ah, now violent, that he is, lassie. You'd hopin' he keeps his violence to his enemies an' lovers, sometimes it ain' clear who's bein' what. After a while they know neither, and"– his face showed an odd expression Leonore couldn't place–"neither does he."
The Bosun hesitated, tilting her head to one side. “I feel sorry for ya’, lass,” she said before pushing the princess forward, then slamming the door close.
Leonore managed to stay upright, but it was a close call. She found herself in poorly lit cabin filled with shadows and more shadows. Thin slices of light came in through small gaps between the heavy curtains, falling on large lumps hiding in the darkness. Just when her eyes started to adjust and she thought she recognized the shape of a man he actually got up to move the curtains aside.
She blinked hard against the light.
“Princess,” the man said—no, purred—in a dark voice that gave her goosebumps. She blinked several times to clear her sight, and then tried not to stare. Captain Violet Bluebeard was the most handsome man she’d ever met. Maybe being ravaged wouldn’t be that bad, after all...
The pirate captain was tall and muscled, late thirties, early forties. A dash of grey highlighted his shiny black hair, which made him look even more dashing. There was nothing wrong with slightly more experienced man if they were this good looking.
Leonore avoided his eyes and thinned her mouth, unwilling to let her feelings show. She let her gaze drift down. His shirt hang open, showing a silver medallion resting on his otherwise bare chest. Then she counted his abs and let her gaze travel onward. He was handsome and muscled and… She gasped, unable to look away.
“I…” she stammered.
“You see anything of interest?” he purred.
She had to swallow twice, and her voice was a little breathy when she finally spoke. "That's... That's the largest I've ever seen. I've never seen such a, euh… large one," she said, and in spite of it all edged a little closer. "Does it hurt?"
The captain shrugged. "It does, sometimes. But, one gets used to it. Wanna' touch it?"
She reached out, unwilling to believe her eyes. "Is that, like, for real?" Gone was her royal education, all of it replaced with an intense urgency to explore. She just couldn’t help herself. The captain oozed a kind of animalism that made her forget her tutors’ lessons.
There was a smile in his voice. "Yes, it is. Took the surgeons quite some time to get it right. You know, it has to fit. Cost me a pretty penny, and an arm and a leg. Well, mostly a leg."
Her eyes shot up, and he shifted uncomfortably under her intense gaze. Just before she could lay her hand on his most prized possession the Bosun knocked on the captain's door. She didn’t wait for any permission to enter but pulled the door right open and simply waltzed in.
"You should wait until I tell you to enter," the Captain admonished her, but there was no anger in his voice, just resignation.
"Would you 'ave said no, cap'n?"
"Is it important?"
"Of course it is, cap'n, otherwise you would'n 'ave found me knock'n."
"Then I would have said 'come in'."
"An' here I am. Anyway, sir, stop show'n off your wood'n leg and get a'deck, we have us sum' fine visitors. Two ships with cannons an’ such."
Captain Violet Bluebeard took a deep sigh, closed his eyes for a moment, then pulled up his pants to follow his Bosun. Just before leaving the cabin he halted at the door, and gave the princess a look that promised heaven, and… something else.
"Don't you worry about a thing, my dear,” he whispered in passing. “My leg is not the only part made from wood."
(c2021 Angel Jay)